


'Fun' with Time Displacement

by DigiConjurer



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Adopted Children, Alternate Universe - Crack, Bisexuality, Byleth is just done, Chaotic Neutral everyone, Children, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Multiple Partners, Side effects of time displacement, Time Shenanigans, oh god what have I done
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:34:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22250380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DigiConjurer/pseuds/DigiConjurer
Summary: Having now heard and seen 'all sides' of time, Byleth has decided to go back one more time and solve things the only way she knows how - giving everyone their memories of all timelines and locking a bunch of people in a room to settle their differences.Of course, even with all your memories, that's only half the battle.
Relationships: Everyone/Everyone, My Unit | Byleth/Everyone, Raphael Kirsten/Ignatz Victor
Kudos: 10





	1. Oh god, this was a bad idea

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to this mess. I do hope you enjoy.

Edelgard von Hsrevelg was not amused.

For starters, she had been dragged into a room by the new professor along with Dimtri, Claude and Slut Pope (she refused to use her actual name). This wouldn’t be too bad if she was a student for Gareg Mach, but that was somehow too hard in this situation.

No, she was now a twenty-one year old filled with images of her own death by a variety of people. All of which were grating themselves down in her head among a million different other issues that getting time displaced would potentially cause.

“You’re probably wondering why I’ve gathered you here.” a voice announced, Byleth making her entrance at the doorframe of all places. Though, Bernadetta could just be made out behind her. “I’m going to take Bernadetta to deal with her d-"

What looked to be a throwing axe collided with the trim around the door. Close, but no cigar. Whatever the fuck that means.

“No you’re not.” the emperor countered, aymr coming out. Artificial or not, still creepy. “Not till you change us all back.”

The sword of the creator smashes against the wall, shattering into a million pieces.

“Oops.” the professor remarked, the scurrying of rats following the breaking of her prized blade. “Thank god I can just sleep and it’ll be magically back together again.”   
All three of our house leader’s grips tightened on their weapons. Not that I’m certain that’s really a good idea. She’s quite serious for the moment. Even if it is absurd that her magical weapon is the only one that can do that. Especially considering how the artificial things should do the same.

“What happens if we just try and kill each other now?” Rhea remarked, Sothis appearing outside of 

“I’ll just reset the timeline and we’ll do it all over again.” Sothis announced and got a nod from her vessel for the moment. Which in turn, got Byleth a look. “Don’t even say it.”

The professor rolled her eyes and turned around. She could at least clean up her mess like a good girl woman non-aging entity. Sorry. I have no fucking clue what’s going on at the moment. For added salt, the door closes right after.

“If anything, I’m not sure why I’m here.” Claude remarked and got a look from the other people in the room.

“You sent an entire navy after me!” Edelgard screeched, axe already pulled back for the moment. “You’re far from innocent!”

Almost in response to that, Dimtri stabbed his spear into Edelgard’s end of the table. At least try to follow Byleth’s rules.

“You have no room too ta-

Before he had a chance to finish his sentence, what sounded like sword pierced through the door.

“You better come on out, boar!”


	2. And Stormy makes three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Or, the first of many 'side effects' of time displacement - children.
> 
> Please don't kill me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little something to hold you over till I can get the next part of Innocence Lost finished.

I don't own fire emblem.

* * *

There was a list of things that Catherine was forbidden from doing. For starters, she wasn’t supposed to feed the wyverns. Which is exactly what the retainer found herself doing right now, feeding winged lizard divas cookies without a care in the world.

“Thank you.” one of them remarked, another wyvern already flying on in. Not sure why it’s looking right towards Catherine for the moment. “Oh yeah. She’s your daughter.”

Catherine couldn’t believe her ears. There was no way that she could have a child. Unless, Rhea ordered… Yeah. That had to be it. So the retainer’s attention turned to their kin. Sandy blonde scales shined in the light, with a mane of mint green spikes. Cyan eyes stare into each other, both wyvern and human slowly approaching.

“Mommy?” the wyvern cooed and jumped up onto Catherine, knocking her to the ground. “It’s been so long!”

Closing her eyes for the briefest of moments, images begin swirling through the retainer’s head. Death, life and everything in between. All the crimes she committed for a goddess who saw her as less than an actual person. All the people who her thunderbrand laid to waste.

“Catherine?” a voice called out, Shamir of all people coming on in. Considering how pristine the room was at the moment, that sledgehammer at the moment looks ready to lay waste to this floor of the academy. Which fair enough, those floors don’t look to have been cleaned in the past. Probably thousand year old stains cover them. Though I would’ve gone for some gloves to boot. Just in case of mold or any other questionable building techniques used in

“Other mommy!” the wyvern announced as she made her way over to Shamir. Jumping up onto the mercenary, she quickly finds herself thrown off. “Boo.”

Shamir’s gaze shifted to Catherine. A million different questions ran through her head for the moment. From the mundane to the bizarre, the memories come rushing back.

“So she’s… your daughter?” the mercenary croaked on out and got a nod in return. This whole thing felt absolutely bizzare for the moment - a slap to the face in regards to what seemed like something straightforward. But with the four heads of the houses stuck in a room with no signs of getting let out, it was probably best to make the most of this moment.

“Our daughter.” Catherine countered, watching her partner give the wyvern a pet. “Though, we need to give her a name.”

Good point. But what exactly to call her? This is some weird wyvern dragon human kid. I’m no naming person, but that has to limit the options greatly.

“How about Stormy?” Catherine suggested, getting a nod from Shamir. Then it’s over to her wyvern for both women. “Does that work for you?”

‘Stormy’ nodded, taking this opportunity to jump on both of them.


	3. Conversations with himself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sylvain tries and fails to convince his 'alternate' self that he totally doesn't like Felix one bit.
> 
> Or Felix continues beating on a door and Sylvain enables him.

Love. The force that supposedly connects two people together - regardless of gender. Yet for our illustrious flirt Sylvain, that force seemed content on eluding him. What had come to him though, was thoughts. Similar to what he would think, but in an entirely different field all together. Maybe that was why he was standing behind a currently slashing Felix.

‘You should kiss him. He would totally like that.”

He tried to push the thought from his head, but it just kept coming back to him. Sure, that didn’t sound half bad of an id-

“Don’t even think about it.” Felix muttered, not even looking towards his friend. Okay, ‘friend’ was probably the wrong word. Possible lover and husband were far better way to describe the swordsman for the moment. There was that annoying thought again. “Sure, you may be hot. But I really want to give that boar a piece of my mind before I let my lips meet yours.”

Sylvain’s face went red. How the heck was he supposed to answer that of all things? Just flirt? Go right on in? It was like playing chess with yourself at times and trying to decide what you’ll do as your opening. Okay, maybe it’s not that complex, but you get the idea.

‘Do it.’

“No.” Sylvain thought, trying once more to push the voice out of his head. These thoughts were always the worse. Especially when someone pretty walks up and all he could see was Felix. Just, Felix. Couldn’t be someone like Ingrid or even… Mercedes. Just had to be the brooding, too good for anyone else, asshole. What the fuck did this other part see that somehow, he couldn’t at the moment? “Answer me, damn it!”

But no answer came. Mostly because this was a conversation occurring in the flirter's head. Even more so when Felix began gesturing for something.

“Another sword. Now.” the swordsman remarked, pulling Sylvain in. All of which just to grab his spear. How rude.

‘Punch him.’

For once, that was something that both Sylvain’s could agree on. Which was exactly what he did. That still doesn’t stop Felix from continuing to pound through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, either Jeritza or the main 'plot'. Or something involving the Ashen Wolves. I'm not sure yet.


	4. No happy endings here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: The following chapter talks a lot about Bernadetta's home life and Count Varley. Lots of references to Incest, Rape and frustration in regards to Byleth not quite thinking ahead in regards to being flung over a cliff.

I don't own fire emblem.

* * *

“You ready to go?”

It takes Bernadetta a second to really register the words that come out of her teacher’s mouth. Okay, Byleth wasn’t quite her teacher. Far as the archer could tell, she had explicitly told Rhea ‘all of them’.

“Uhh… Yeah!” she announced, getting a deep breath in return. “Bernie, you need to be paying attention.”

For a brief moment, her eyes close. There’s nothing but pain and suffering that get reflected back in there. Sexual, physical and mental. For Count Varley, his mark was always pain. Nothing more, nothing less. She was the canvas of which no expense was spared.

“Bernadetta.” Byleth remarked, the archer shaking about. A punch to her face followed, knocking the professor to the ground.

“You bitch!” Bernadetta screeched, smashing what looked to be a bow into Byleth for good measure. “Am I nothing but a toy to fuck over for you?”

Her words shoot out, no way to take them back now. Especially as her target still laid out.

“You’ve done it now, Bernie.” she told herself, getting ready to book it now that she had fucked this up for herself. “There’s no way she’ll want to talk to me again.”

She returned to her thoughts, fire pulling forth. That stupid mound, the order of her own commander. Then her own stupid body on fire. Because of course it was. Even in battle she couldn’t win.

“At times, yes.” Byleth mumbled, slowly raising herself up. For the moment, it should be alright to look towards her pupil. “I loved you, I played matchmaker, even killed you. So yes, you’re very much in the right in feeling that way.”

That remark got her another whack with the bow. This one even harder than the last. I can already see what is coming. Mozu, could you be a dear and switch with me?

My wife gives me a look at the moment. In my defense, I don’t think either of us want to be cleaning off vomit.

“That fucker raped me, you braindead bimbo bitch!” Bernadetta screeched, bowstring pulled up against Byleth’s neck. “Every fucking day, without end. I was nothing more than his wonderful housewife who serves his every sexual need. You know how many different ways you can fuck a person?”

Not even giving Byleth a chance to really answer, Bernadetta began tearing at her armor. While not really successful, it was enough to pull her down to the ground in a struggle.

“Quite a lot?” Byleth croaked, kicking back at her attacker. But no answer came, even as the bow broke in two and the archer resorted to going to blows with her teacher. “I’ve had my fair share of sex too. Believe me, I have.”

Her words fall on deaf ears. Especially as the sound of footsteps approached. 

“Are we allowed out of the bas-

Sothis appeared, throne above her shoulders for some reason. Not even looking to the situation below her. No, her attention was on the approaching figures.

“Begone Fuckboi!” the goddess announced and flung the throne towards this unknown threat. A bit excessive, but the message was heard loud and clear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah.. this was one of the harder ones to write. 
> 
> Next time, Gilbert or maybe Jeritza. Depends on how much suffering I want.


	5. No mistakes made here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Gilbert tries to avoid his daughter and her many spouses and fails quite miserably.

I don't own fire emblem.

* * *

If possible, Gilbert preferred to keep a distance from his family - extended or otherwise. This was pretty easy when it's just your wife and daughter. But when it's your daughter, her wife, her many husbands and all their husbands and wives.

"Crud." the knight muttered, looking about the entrance hall. While he hadn't run into anyone his daughter had wedded, he had far too many close calls. If he was lucky, maybe he could walk out without anyone noticing. That would be a win-win for everyone involved. He could keep his near perfect record of avoiding them and they could keep on speculating on who he was in the background - out of sight, out of mind.

Of course, someone had other plans.

"You must be Annette's father." a voice called out, Gilbert reluctantly turning around. But not before pulling out a weapon - a sword. Rusty and battered, that's the worse thing to bring to such a battle. But when you're avoiding your daughter and everyone connected to them, you start to lower your standards in regards to what you carry.

Before him, stood a woman with short blonde hair. Dressed like that of a noble lady, the scythe looking out of place.

"You're not the grim reaper, dear?" Gilbert remarked, getting a chuckle in return. Uh... that isn't really an answer. If anything, you're just confusing him even further. Not that he doesn't need that with all these memories in his head.

"Just regular old Mercedes." the girl answered, scythe tip now comfortably on the ground. Didn't make it any less threatening in this current situation. "Annette asked me to come find you for the wedding."

Gilbert's eyes grew as large as saucers. Wedding? There was no possible way that his daughter was getting married to someone else. There must be some kind of mistake. If not, he would need to move even faster away from the place. But where could he possibly go? Annette must have people everywhere. All of watch keeping an eye on everywhere in the hopes of tracking him down to actually making him act as a family man.

"I refuse." Gilbert answered, turning around to make his escape. Or well, try to at least. But Mercedes edged him out with her scythe.

"Oh no you don't." Mercedes answered, grabbing hold of Gilbert. "Come along now, you're not getting out of this easy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I thought Cindered Shadows came out next week, not this week. Oops.
> 
> Next time Jeritza. Hopefully. I'm going to probably take a few days to finish Tokyo Mirage Sessions and Cindered Shadows for this and Princess Byleth.


End file.
